The drink I am reviewing today is called Purple Stuff Berry Calming, and I will be honest, I was scared to try this out when I first saw it at the gas station, because A) It looks like a dollar store produced drink, and B) A relaxation drink sounds like it’s spiked with melatonin, THC, or horse tranquilizers. It actually does look like something that Willy Wonka would brew up in his Candy Factory and slip some LSD into as well, which to be fair, is the vibe I think they were going for. This stuff is actually produced in my region, and I believe Purple Stuff was created to imitate the taste of Lean, or as you probably know it as Sizzurp, Texas Tea, Purple Drank, Dirty Sprite, or Purp, I hope I did not exclude any other lame nicknames in my list. Lean also originated in my city fun fact. Purple Stuff only comes in a few flavors, but i only saw Classic Grape and Berry Calming at the store, and I chose Berry Calming for today.
Purple Stuff Berry Calming tastes like flat, watery, berry soda. But Purple Stuff is not really a soda, it technically contains zero caffeine and is labeled as a relaxation drink. So I guess the simple way to put it is if Energy Drinks are fire, then Relaxation Drinks are ice, they are opposites. While this drink does taste flat and water like, I honestly can’t really complain, its too surreal to be disgusted. I enjoy the drink’s taste and texture personally. This stuff goes down very easily, especially the second half of the sip, it practically glides down your tongue and vanishes instantly. I will say the can design could be better, looks kind of lazily thrown together honestly.
I typically won’t do an effectiveness portion of my reviews whenever I review an energy drink, because everyone metabolizes caffeine differently and it varies from person to person, and I personally have a pretty decent caffeine tolerance. However, this is my first ever relaxation drink so I will document my experience. . . . . . I am laying in bed forty minutes after writing the rough draft of my review, I do not feel too much different, just sort of lazy and only slightly sleepy. I think all this drink did was nullify the energy drink I had this morning (Venom Black Cherry Kiwi Review coming soon), but then again that was 7 hours ago so who knows?
Update: Purple Stuff gave me a stomach ache I think? I can hear rumbling and growling, I do not know if it was for sure the purple stuff but my stomach does not sound too happy with me right now.
Calories: 50 Calories per serving/100 Calories per can.
Misc: 16 fl oz per can. 10 mg of Roseships Powder. 10 mg of Valerian Root. 5 mg of L-Theanine.
i. e. 8.3/10